There's No Reset Button in Life
by pink-chief
Summary: A traitor has no motive. This statement does not make for a character. *Warnings for future chapters are listed at end notes of chapter 1, no warnings for chapter 1* Also listed same fic on Ao3 in further detail (I think, I can't recall specifically if there's anything here I left out). This fic is fully outlined to 12 chapters. Future pairings: Bon x Shima (light)
1. Prologue

Chapter 1: Prologue

_"You want to believe that there's one relationship in life that's beyond betrayal. A relationship that's beyond that kind of hurt. And there isn't."_

—Caleb Carr

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><p>"You traitor!" Yaozo directed his growl towards his son as he fought off an Illuminati. Chief Shima ironically led the attack against the Illuminati after war was declared against the Illuminati organization. Shima could really care less. He felt nothing towards his father, if anything he hated the man. "This is how you fucking repay your older brother! He gave his honorable life for you and you disgrace him in the worst way!" He directed his attack at another oncoming enemy.<p>

Shima didn't really seem to care at his father's harsh words as he took on member after member that were led under Yaozo's command.

"Nothing? You don't even have the guts to deny it! You're no son of mine!" The senior Shima then directed his next attack at his son, coming head on at him with full intention of harming him.

Shima smiled and almost effortlessly deflected his father's attack. "Ah, what's this? Disgrace Take-nii? It seems so," he chimed in a sing-song tone. He then summoned Yamantaka. "Does it really matter now that we're enemies, Dad?" Black flames shot out towards the tattooed Shima.

"Y-Yaman—..." His father gasped, "Yamantaka?!" He fought off the flames as he went in for another direct attack, "Renzuo, what the hell is this?! The demon that killed your brother and almost you?" He jumped back after a deflection from Yamantaka before chanting.

Shima smiled and mirrored the chanting with his own chants. Yamantaka growled and went head-on against the eldest Shima.

Shima laughed half-heartedly then spoke, "Perish."

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><p><strong> This fiction is preplanned all the way through. There will be 12 chapters total. Minor relationship towards the end if you want to see it that way. <strong>**_Warnings for the future include: underage mentions of sexual content, suicide attempts, and family problems._**** If you made it this far and still wish to continue reading then I'm glad you've decided to stick along. I hope you enjoy. This fic can also be located on my Ao3 under the same account name and the same title. **

**Thank you.**


	2. Take-nii

_"Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold."_

—Andre Maurois

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><p>"Renzou."<p>

There was a tired groan, and the addressed figure rolled away from the voice and tried to fall back into sleep.

"Ren, wake up." The voice got a little louder and a hand on his shoulder jostled him a little. This time Shima groggily decided to wake up and glance up to see who was waking him.

"Huh...?" He reached and rubbed the sleep from his eyes to see Take Shima hovering over him with a stupid grin that he normally held.

"Hey, you awake?" He chuckled at his baby brother. "I'm supposed to watch over you today while everyone else is out. It's getting close to noon, you hungry?"

The young Renzou groaned and threw his covers over his head and went back into his previous position. "G'way, Take-nii, it's too early." Shima whined at his older sibling.

"Heh, and I was planning on taking you to that one American restaurant for lunch. Guess I'll just have to go alone," Take stood and started toward the door when he was pleased to hear the rustling of his brother getting out of bed.

"Wait! Really?" Shima beamed, "Can I come?" He ran over and clung to Take's pant leg and bounced lightly in place.

"Hmm," Take put his hand to his chin as if in thought, "Well, I suppose you _do_ need to eat." He then grinned, "Sure, hurry up and go get ready."

Renzou smiled and rushed off to get ready to go out. By the time Take made it to the door and got his shoes on the little Shima was rushing down the hall and throwing his own shoes on before grabbing Take's hand and rushing out the door, "C'mon!"

"Haha, all right, all right! No need to run, it's not going anywhere!" Take chuckled as he followed Shima along.

–

On their way back Shima was rambling on about his toy he got in his child sized meal. "And it's super power is to shoot lightning from it's eyeballs! Take-nii, do you think I could shoot lightning from my eyes? I could shoot down all the bad guys and then Dad can come and stay home with us more often! What do you think, Take-nii?"

Take glanced down at Shima with a smile, "Haha, man I don't know about that, but when you start shooting lightning out of your eyes I'll be sure to keep on your good side, yeah?" Shima smiled back with agreement. Take then glanced at his watch then started, "Oh man, it's already 1? Hey, Ren, do you mind if we stop by my workshop on the way home?" Renzou didn't know exactly what the work Take did was but he knew it had to do with the same thing their dad did for a living. He'd never gone there, but he'd always wanted to.

"Yeah! Let's go, where is it?" Shima grinned with excitement.

Take smiled and lead him down a branching off patch towards their family's other area they own. On their way down, Shima continued about his toy and asking Take if he had any cool super powers.

"Me? If I had any cool super powers I'm pretty sure I'd look a lot cooler like your toy there, don't you think?"

Shima looked down at his toy, "Yeah, but Dad said that everyone has potential to be powerful." He looked back up at his brother, "Even you!"

The elder Shima paused his step, "Huh, yeah?" He gave a light smile and ruffled Renzou's hair. Just then they heard someone calling from behind. They both turned to see Bon running towards them.

"Renzou!" He smiled as he neared them, "Hey, I've been looking all over for you!" When he caught up he noticed the elder there and then smiled up at him, "Oh, sorry! Hi Take-san!"

Take smiled, "Hello, Bon—you needed Ren for something?"

The young child nodded then turned back to his friend, "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to play? Me 'n Miwa are going to go fishing down by the river later and I came to get you if you want. Are you busy?"

Shima nodded back, "Yeah, sorta. Take-nii was going to take me to his workshop!" He smiled brightly.

"Wow, really?" Bon beamed.

Take sighed but still held his light smile, "Would Bon like to join us? It's not too small a building, so it should be fine. Then you two can go have fun."

Both the children smiled and nodded before following Take toward the unfamiliar location. Once there, they were asked to wait outside.

"Hey, Bon, check out this cool toy I got with my meal today!" Shima handed Bon his toy.

"Wow, neat!" He examined the toy, "I have the blue one at home, sometime we should see if we can collect more, yeah? Then we can play with them all!" He handed it back.

"Heh, yeah!" Shima nodded. After a moment he then noticed, "Nii-san is taking a long time in there... I'm gonna go see how he is, OK?" He handed his friend the toy before standing.

"Yeah, be sure not to make Take-san angry." Bon fiddled with the toy as his friend went into the workplace.

In there Shima glanced around through the seemingly dark room. There wasn't much light for some reason... He didn't know why, but maybe his brother just worked best with low lighting. Sometimes too much light gives him headaches too so it might make sense.

"Take-nii?" Shima walked further then heard a rustling before he turned the corner around a large file case. He blinked when he saw his brother hunched over his desk and Shima walked over to him, "Are you OK, Nii-san?" His brother jolted from his thoughts and turned.

"Renzou?" He then frowned, "I told you to stay outside." He walked over and grabbed Shima's arm harshly, "How many times do I tell you to do something and be obedient and have you go and fuck it up?" Take shoved Shima back who hit the desk and knocked several things over and off the desk.

"S-sorry..." Shima shrunk back. What was wrong with his brother all of a sudden?

"Ugh, now look what you've done!" The elder swung his arm and struck the child. "God, I hate fucking watching after you and that other brat all the time. Fucking Shima responsibilities..." He glanced and reached for a summoning paper. _'I could kill them and pretend it was an accidental demon attack... That would get them out of my fucking hair finally.'_ "Fuck this responsibility shit," he growled before dropping a bit of his blood onto the paper and summoned a dark entity that seemed almost the same size as a human. The creature attacked the young boy who shouted and dove to the ground, scraping his elbow. He scooted back and over several papers with a whimper as the creature readied to attack again. "H-help...help me...!" Shima cried out weakly and then one of the papers below him began to glow.

"No way..." His brother muttered and stepped back with wide eyes.

Black flames began to fill the room as a large creature with rounded horns and a terrifying face appeared behind the youngest Shima. "Who dares summon me..." The creature glared down at the boy and paper before looking back up and towards the other demon and connected the dots. He glanced at the other boy in the room and growled, "I see..." He then spoke to the boy, "You want my help, child?"

Shima looked up at him with terror and managed a shaky nod. The demon bared his teeth at the other demon before unleashing true hell upon him and the other person in the room. Shima heard shouting but kept his eyes closed until he heard Bon's voice.

"Renzou!" He looked up to see Bon was in the small building on fire with black flames and seemed to be searching for him.

"Bon!" Shima tried to stand but had to lean against the desk as he stood. He looked back up at the demon and screamed for Bon to get out. Before the other boy could run to the door it slammed open and a bunch of people came running in in uniforms. He recognized one as his father before falling back down against the desk due to weakness.

The demon roared at them all before disappearing. The fire remained and Bon and Shima were rushed out of the small place just before it collapsed in on itself. Chief Shima shouted, "Where's Take?" He looked to Shima who hiccuped and began to cry in fear now that the shock eased away. Next to him, Bon was in a similar state. The father looked back to the building with a frown then hung his head in defeat, accepting that his son was gone.

Shima slowly began to fade from consciousness, weak for reasons he didn't understand.

"_It's the effects of summoning me, child."_

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><p><strong>Aah, new chapter already. I hope I am not getting ahead of myself here. Well, anyway, I don't have much to say about this at the end of it like last time. I wrote a little bit more on the Ao3 chapter, and I'm probably going to have more content after the chapters there than here, but if it's actually important then you will get it too instead of my useless rambling and dumb headcanons to add in. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter.<strong>

**Thank you!**


	3. Runaway

**TW: This is the attempt at suicide in the story! If you cannot continue to this chapter then you might be able to be fine without reading this one.**

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><p><em>"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.<em>"

—Phil Donahue

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><p>"This khakkara is my own," Shima blinked at his father with a confused and surprised expression. "I now entrust it to you and acknowledge you as a man of the Shima family. As a representative of the Shima family protect Bon and Konekomaru."<p>

Shima stared down at the khakkara blankly. He heard his father stand and head to the door. After a moment to himself he gritted his teeth with disgust at the metal object. He threw it down and stood before starting for the door himself.

He rushed down the corridors and managed to avoid anyone by chance alone. He couldn't care less if someone saw how unhappy he was. He rushed out the backdoor and into the garden area, not bothering with his shoes or socks.

'_What are you doing, Renzou?'_ He heard a voice. The same voice that has been following him since long ago.

"Shut up." He rushed to the garden shed in the very edges of the land and began to rummage through the shelves. Tears he didn't know he was shedding began to drip onto the dusty floor as he scrapped around with haste. Once he found what he was looking for, he quickly exited the shed and went to the large tree that was placed on the higher grounded area to shadow a gazebo underneath.

Shima plopped down in front of the tree and worked with the rope he had found.

_'What's wrong, child_,' the voice spoke calmly to him.

"Shut the fuck up!" He growled, "Just shut up for once! Always having to butt in on my personal life. Why don't you fucking go away already? I thought you'd go away once the paper got destroyed!"

'_It wasn't destroyed. It's still where you left it. Even if I weren't here, you would be throwing just as big a tantrum as you are now. Now tell me what ails you?'_

Shima stopped and glared at the rope, "I assume you were there when my dad came and spoke to me..." He received a growl in confirmation, "Well that's the first time he's actually had a conversation to me since Take-nii decided to show his true colors." Shima growled angrily and went back to his rope he fumbled with.

"Take-nii this and Take-nii that," Shima spat out. "What a fucking great guy he was. I always have to live as him. I have to fucking give his death meaning? Hah! Like anyone knows what really went down."

'_What if they knew? Why do you not tell them?'_ The voice remained calm and quiet with respect to heed their summoner's attitude.

"It wouldn't matter! I was too young to actually know anything. Take-nii was too respectable than that. I must've been mistaken. He was protecting me from _you_!" Shima stood with the rope in his hands.

He climbed up a rock that leaned against the trunk of the tree and began to tie one end of the rope to an overhanging branch.

_'And showing your abilities to summon me?'_

Shima hissed, "Then _I'm_ the traitor."

_'And this is you doing the same as him, is it not? Avoiding responsibilities.'_

"Like you fucking know anything!" Shima took the noose end of the rope and slid it over his head and checked the rope for faults. "Doesn't matter anyway, everything will be done soon enough."

_'Don't.'_

"Fuck off," Shima snapped before stepping off the rock and getting caught in the rope. Quicker than that, black flames caught the rope on fire and Shima quickly fell to the ground with a yelp.

"Fuck!" Shima screamed and threw off the rope in anger. "Why the hell?!" Shima glared at the vapor of black flames that shown in front of him weakly.

Yamantaka stared back calmly, '_Because this isn't the answer to your problems._'

"Then what the fuck is?!" Shima shouted back, tears still dripped down his face.

_'Only you can figure that out._ _All I can tell you is that this is not the answer to your problems.'_ Yamantaka closed his eyes, _'This is the coward's way out of things. In a sense, this makes you more like your sibling than ever before.'_

The young Shima stood and growled, "I fucking hate you."

The demon smiled,_ 'I know.'_ He then looked at Shima, _'but you are more than this.'_

Shima frowned and cast his head down in thought. "..." He sighed and began to gather the charred rope before jerking his hands back as more black flames covered the remaining rope.

He glowered and shot a glare towards Yamantaka who responded, _'We need not have anyone find this and ask questions that you cannot answer.'_

The young boy sighed at this and then went back to the shed and locked it up. "This is going to be a waste of both our time from now on, you know that right?" Shima glanced warily at the faded demon.

'I wouldn't say this to be a waste,' Yamantaka retorted._ 'Though, humans in general seem to find the need to summon me for petty things such as revenge. You're unlike them. I suspect that is because you're so young.' _The demon smiled at the boy, _'That makes for an interesting life to follow. I can't have you dying now and ruining a good deal of time for me.'_

Shima clicked his tongue in distain, "Ch, selfish bastard..." He turned and started towards the house, tired from all the energy Yamantaka was using to be here.

Once Shima had gone to bed, Yamantaka returned next to him and looked down upon him. '…' He looked down at the staff and then concluded that he could have Shima use the flames to his own advantage. That would at least help him get stronger. It was all Yamantaka could gain as good for what had become of today. The demon looked back down at the young Shima. _'Hopefully you'll find the right path. Make another wrong one and I might just let you actually learn by trial and error. Just don't go and make death wishes again.'_ He knew Shima couldn't hear what he had directed at him but it wasn't meant to be heard. Then what would Shima learn?

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><p><strong>I believe this will be the only mention of any suicide or attempt at suicide. From what I can tell if you cannot read this chapter, it is mostly all right to be able to skip. Uum. I put that at header notes so there's that... This chapter is a little short and a little late because I literally woke up...a couple hours ago. Yeah it's almost midnight-I stayed up all night last night and went to bed at 10 am. No one came and woke me up sooo at least here it is now! lol I hope you enjoyed this chapter nonetheless!<strong>  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


	4. Money

_"The lack of money is the root of all evil."_

_—_Mark Twain

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><p>Clad in a middle schooler's uniform, Shima sighs down at his wallet. His empty wallet, that is. Shima had decided the best way for him to get a better chance in life was to save enough money to leave home and become financially independent. No family, no burdens.<p>

He frowned and retrieved his wallet to his back pocket and sat back against the tree he had once hung a rope to. How was he going to get money? He was too young to work. He didn't have any trade skills. Hell, he barely had any talents or hobbies either.

It has been quite awhile since he last heard from Yamantaka and to say he was glad was...fair. The only downside was that there was no one he could talk to with honesty. No one knew much of anything about him anymore. His best friends seemed oblivious and if they cared then they had a strange way of showing it. The same for his family, not that they were ever really close to each other as it was.

Shima stood and started for the road to head into town. He really needed to clear his head. There has to be a way for him to make money fast and also dodge his family's radar. "..."

As Shima was deep in thought he neared the end of his block. He paused and waited for the do not cross sign to change.

"Hey you," he blinked and turned his head to see a guy walking up to him with a greasy smile. "What's a nice child like yourself wandering out and about?"

Shima internally cringed at how fucking gross this guy was but turned back to face the street light. He wasn't doing this today.

"Aw, no need to be shy," the man grinned. "How about we go out for a bite, yeah?"

Shima snorted, "As if I have the money to waste on a date with a creep like you."

"I'll buy?" The man coaxed as if Shima were serious.

Shima paused and reeled his thoughts. 'Buy?' Shima hatched an idea and then turned and skimmed the man up and down. He wasn't that bad off besides the obvious pedophile vibes he was getting. "You know..." Shima grinned, "I think I'm about to up the price and skip the meal..."

The older man blinked then grinned.

'_Why this_?' Yamantaka seemed to be back.

'_Shut up, not now_,' Shima thought back.

–

Shima began to find usual paying customers and usual places he could find them at. He'd go out almost every night after everyone in the house was either out or in bed. Not a damn person caught on, he made well sure of this. He was careful.

That is until one night he went out to see if he could find the right customers at his more popular location in town. As he neared he noticed a new face to the area. Shima wasn't one for recognizing faces or anything, but there was definitely something about this man that Shima felt...odd. He couldn't tell if it was good or bad, but he wasn't about to let a possible customer walk without him at least trying to talk them up first.

"Excuse me," Shima chimed and made his way to the man. "Are you waiting for someone?"

The man turned to him and blinked, "Me? Ah, no, I was actually heading to find a place to crash... I'm here on business and I sorta don't know my way around yet. Do you know a nearby place I can get a room at?"

Shima gave an innocent smile, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I was on my way there just now. Would you feel interested in—"

"Are you a prostitute or something?" The man interrupted and Shima flinched in surprise.

Normally this isn't how things go down—especially not this forward. "Uh...why?" He raised an eyebrow, "I'm normally not told I'd be the prostitute type. Haha, I'm...flattered?"

The man then blinked, "Oh—sorry! I just... I was—" The man flushed and Shima spoke.

"We can negotiate price exchange in your room." The man gave a confused look. "I'm saying if you wanna have sex, I'm gonna need something...to get off to, if you catch my drift." Shima was careful with his words, this guy for all he knew could be a cop. He wouldn't doubt it with how odd this situation has become as opposed to the usual outings.

As they spoke and agreed before walking away, Yamantaka made his appearance stifled. He made sure neither of the two could tell he was here. He felt something odd about this man and he wasn't about to let Shima make another deadly mistake. Not again.

–

As the two entered the motel room, Shima turned to the man, "What are you looking for?"

"What?" Shima sighed.

"Sex. I need to know ahead of time because you're coughing up the cash before th—" Shima was cut off by the man tackling him to the bed and blocking Shima's words with his mouth.

Shima growled and bit the guy and kicked at him. "Fuckin get off!" He growled.

The man grinned, "What's a kid like you gonna do about it?" He leaned down once more and before he could touch Shima again, black flames shot up between the two.

The man jumped and stumbled back whereas Shima was untouched by the flames. Yamantaka stood in front of the man and lit him up from head to toe in burning black fire. The man went to scream but Yamantaka muffled him with thick flames. The man could no longer scream.

Shima sat up and blinked with surprise and a little bit of fear from the shake up.

"Yamantaka—how the hell...?"

The demon turned back, '_Fool. You seriously can't sense these sort of things? He's got demon stench all over him_.' He turned back to the man who dropped to the ground with a thud. '_You're welcome_.'

"Welcome?!" Shima shouted and rushed over, "He's fucking dead! There's burn marks all over him and he's got my dna on him!" Shima turned to Yamantaka, "The police are going to get involved this time! We can't play it off as a random demon attack! Dad's going to trace these flames back to you which he'll then trace back to me! He's gonna know I killed Take-nii, and we're both going to get arrested for this fucker," he gestured to the man with panic. "Now what?!"

'…' The demon frowned, '_You chose this path. Tell me how you're going to get out of it_.' Shima made a noise of distress.

"OK...OK..." Shima drew a shaky breath, "First of all, let's see who this guy is. M-maybe we can dispose of the body and no one will know?" He reached down and grabbed a singed wallet from the man's pant pocket.

"Um..." Shima went through the man's cards and Ids. "There's nothing—wait," he pulled a white business card from the wallet. "This says..." Shima blinked, "This guy's involved with the Illuminati?" He looked at Yamantaka, "Do you know anything about this?"

The demon edged closer and inspected the card. '_No...but there is a number written in pen on it. Call it. If this man is really with such an organization full of conspiracies then his people might at least clear this man's existence up before the police find him_.'

Shima slowly nodded before pulling his phone from his pocket and dialed the number on the sheet. He listened to the ringing for a few seconds before the line was answered.

"Hello?"

"Yes, um." Shima looked to the man's name on the card, "I'm here with what used to be a...Nawabe Yushiro?" The other line was silent for a moment.

"Nawabe-san is currently—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, no," Shima started in. "Look he's lying here dead on the floor in this motel. Um. He was attacked by a..." Shima tried, "demon?"

"..." The person on the other side of the line paused for a few moments. Shima started to believe she had hung up but then the voice returned, "Are you positive?"

"Y-yes."

"Very well. I am sending several men in to deal with the situation. As for you," her tone turned less professional and more threatening. "We cannot let you leave with any information you have acquired. If you have anything we need to know that would help us decide whether or not to let you live, speak now."

Shima paled, "L-live?!" His eyes darted to Yamantaka who had kept a steady gaze at him the entire time. "Um. I was in the middle of business with this man when he a-attacked me. The demon had been summoned accidentally by myself."

"All right, and what is your business?"

Shima paused then spoke quietly, "S-sexual favors."

"I see, and how does one accidentally summon a demon that is powerful enough to take out a rather important ally to us?"

"I..." Shima didn't really know what to say, "He's been my familiar for awhile. I had not realized he was with me at the time."

"..." He could hear typing and cringed, "Well, I have good news and bad news for you, Mr. Prostitute."

"S-Shima, ma'am."

"Shima-san." The woman corrected herself, "You might not die today. If you wish, you may fill in for the man you have just killed. If you do not wish to that is all right. We are prepared to dispose of two bodies if you choose."

The younger bit his lip, "H-haha, what choice do I have, then? Sure." He complied. Just as he let the words out, a group of men entered the suit and began to collect the man. They seemed wary with Yamantaka now watching them.

Shima heard the woman speak once more, "Give us your personal information, Shima-san, and we will find a job that you can fit the bill with for your first assignment. The men here will be able to get the information from you. Thank you." The line clicked and Shima closed his phone.

"Sir, could you please call off your familiar or we will be forced to take it as a threat." One of the man said.

Shima blinked and nodded, "Sorry." Yamantaka faded away as Shima obliged.

'_This is a better path for you, Renzou_,' he spoke to Shima. Shima couldn't help but agree for once.

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><p>Aahll right. That's a late chapter. Well, a little late, not by much. I don't have much to say by it other than it is a little more rushed than normal. I apologize. Other than that I hope you at least enjoyed it a little!<p>

Thank you!


	5. Future

_"The future belongs to those who prepare for it today."_

—Malcolm X

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><p>Since the incident with his encounter with the Illuminati, Shima had decided to cut back on making money. He had met with his director to discuss his abilities and what he requires. He would be suitable for filling in the man he killed easily since his age is so young. Shima had taken the opportunity to require a salary for his job. The director found that amusing and gave way to his request with a little bit of money that could be useful with saving up.<p>

"Hey," Shima was brought from his thoughts when Bon spoke up. The three of them had been gathered in Konekomaru's room as they studied for their upcoming exams. "I was thinking about what school I'd wanna go to next year."

Shima blinked, "Yeah? I haven't even began to think about that yet." Konekomaru nodded in agreement with him.

"Well, it's been bugging me for awhile since I have to have things planned out at least a little," Bon scratched the back of his head. "I actually already applied to a school in fact..." He smiled sheepishly, "Heh, I managed to get into True Cross Academy!"

"Huh? Isn't that like super prestigious?"

Bon nodded at Shima's question, "Well yeah, but it's not the reason for going. See, they've got a cram school on campus for future exorcists. I'm sure you two could also—"

"Nah," Shima smiled. "I'm good. You two can do what you want, but I'm not about that life."

"Huh?" The smaller teen looked to his friend in surprise, "You don't want to follow with the family job?"

"That's right! You know, your dad's gonna get angry."

Shima frowned, "So what? I've lived this life with this sort of shit following me around—you both, too! I've had enough of it to know that I hate it." Shima closed his book and stood before tossing it into his bag. He started to the door when the taller called after him.

"Do you even know what you want to do with your future? Now's the time to start getting your shit together! Just like the rest of us."

Shima glared at the door he faced before making his exit without an answer. This didn't stop his own thoughts to travel to find an answer.

What was he even doing? What would he do after he had enough money? He knew the Illuminati would be hard to get out of but it was also a source of income he could rely on if he really needed to... He didn't even know where he would go or how he would be able to find a place to crash without a chance of being caught before he could leave. Not only that but he needed a high school education of some form. '_Ugh, this is all too complicated and troublesome!_' Shima thought to himself.

He made his way to the convenient store on his way home and grabbed an energy drink and a magazine and went to the bench outside to try and calm his thoughts with open space. Honestly, what was he doing? He knew he couldn't avoid every troubling task or choice, but that didn't help now that he's at an important one. '_Ah, I first need to figure out how long it would take me to get the money...then where I can go that has shelter and school_...' His thoughts traveled back to True Cross. He didn't know much about it other than it was very scholarly and had its own campus students lived on. He could maybe go there and avoid the cram school... Hell, he knew being that close would make it near impossible for someone to drag his sorry ass to classes.

Why was this so confusing?

Suddenly Shima's phone went off. He sighed and pulled it from his pocket and checked the ID. 'Director' the screen read. Shima frowned and answered. "Hello?"

"Shima-san," the director greeted. "We have gone over your file once more and couldn't find a job that was suitable for you to fill. However, we have gotten a new case from the higher ups. It seems fitting for someone of your age." He heard files being shuffled around. "In order for you to remain suspicious we have enrolled you into high school for the following fall."

Shima blinked, "Wait—you enrolled me already? Where?"

"We are funding you under the table to attend True Cross's classes and live on campus," she spoke. "However we need you to monitor a cram school that they hold underneath the normalcy of the school. There is a student we need in the future and someone to go in and have a complete visual on them. You are to make sure no harm comes to them and when the time comes you will take them back to us. We will come get you once that happens so don't fret over those details just yet. You will get a file in the spring from us under a name of one of the students currently in your classes as to not stir suspicion."

Shima frowned, "True Cross Academy?" He sighed, "All right, we might need to discuss the pay for this because I have family connected to them."

"Oh? All right, we will have more people join the staff to ensure your cover will be safe. I expect to see you in my office in two weeks to discuss the details. Until then, brush up on your studies. I hear it's quite an honorable school to be able to attend." The line went dead.

With a heavy sigh, the young teenager stool and threw his empty energy drink in the waste basket by the bench. Somehow fate was playing games with his life and it was winning. He sent a quick text to Bon that he would consider True Cross if he could convince him. Shortly after he got a reply to confirm Bon's excitement.

–

"So I'm thinking of dying my hair, what do you think?" Bon says as he looks down at a box of hair dye. The three were gathered at a convenient store in town that sold cheap cosmetic supplies.

"Haha, sure," Shima reached out and grabbed a green dye kit. "This would match your dreamy eyes," he gave a kissy face to the taller and Konekomaru laughed beside him.

"S-shut up!" Bon grew embarrassed. "I'm serious! Ugh, just forget it." Bon put the dye in his hand back on the shelf and headed for the next isle over with the other two behind him.

Shima stopped walking when he looked over two isles and noticed a familiar man. His stomach twisted as he realized it was someone he had met through his previous job. "Actually," Shima spoke as he reached and grabbed a bottle of dye that was in front of him. He turned and walked to the check out counter and payed for the dye before turning back to his friends witch a small chuckle at their confused and surprised expressions. "Why the hell not, right?"

Bon blinked before grinning, "Yeah. Oh, what did you get?" The three of them looked in the bag to find pink dye.

"..." Shima looked at the other two, "Get on my level." He laughed as he internally groaned.

* * *

><p><strong> This is the last flash back I believe. The rest will be about the current time. Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter!<strong>  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


	6. Knowledge

_"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."_

_—_Confucius

* * *

><p>"<em>Y-Yaman—..." His father gasped, "Yamantaka?!" He fought off the flames as he went in for another direct attack, "Renzou, what the hell is this?! The demon that killed your brother and almost you?" He jumped back after a deflection from Yamantaka before chanting.<em>

_Shima smiled and mirrored the chanting with his own chants. Yamantaka growled and went head-on against the eldest Shima._

_Shima laughed half-heartedly then spoke, "Perish."_

–

The teen's khakkara grew a black spear that was formed from black flames. His father was still very weak from the miasma, did he really believed he stood a chance? He underestimated his son's true power.

As Shima was about to stab his father he was suddenly deflected back in a flash of blue. Shima grit his teeth. He knew that fucking blue.

He skidded back and the new attacker landed in front of him. "Okumura-kun! I didn't expect you to be here. I haven't even properly greeted you yet!" Shima beamed.

"What the fuck?! You were about to kill your dad!" Rin barked and flew at him. Shima matched him by jumping back and swinging his own weapon. They were evenly parred but Shima wasn't about to let that keep him from getting rid of this nuisance.

"I should be asking you the same thing!" Shima swung and knocked Rin's head to the side and Shima reached back to stop him from hitting the wall. "What the fuck are you doing?"

As Rin slowly stood up and gained his balance the pink haired teen stabbed his khakkara to the ground and began to chant. Black flames raced from the end of the metal through the ground towards Rin. Said teen jumped up and towards Shima and swung the dull end of his sword at him.

When Shima raised the khakkara to defend himself they both flew through the wall with the knock back power from the clash.

The Illuminati stood and dusted off some rubble and glared at Rin. "Can you please stop butting into my personal affairs, it's quite rude you know."

Rin got back up and matched the glare right back through the dust and rubble around them, "No I fucking won't! Don't you understand that everyone's here to help you! We want you back! Why are you being like this?! This isn't the Shima we know!" Rin attacked Shima once more.

Shima attacked right back, "Hah! You're a funny one, Okumura-kun. Just as funny as ever. But don't get me wrong because you don't know shit!" With a sharp hit to emphasize the last part he grinned angrily.

"You don't get it..." Rin growled as he managed back up, "Do you understand what it will feel like to kill your own father? _You_ don't know shit!"

The other laughed as they both went back at it, "We aren't the same type of people. Where you care and love, I differ greatly. _So don't act like you know!_" Shima screamed out as Yamantaka appeared and sent out a powerful deal of attacks at Rin who was barely holding his own against the demon.

"K-know what?! If you gotta be so complicated then at least let someone in! You can't possibly like being this alone!" Rin stumbled back after failing at avoiding a blast of fire. Shima was suddenly at him with a grin as he swung.

"You have no idea what it's like to live in a dysfunctional family!" Shima knocked Rin back into the rutted rubble and smirked. "You act like we were once friends, but as Izumo-chan has found out, this whole experience at the cram school has been a complete lie. I've been a spy this entire fucking time!" Shima burst into laughter.

* * *

><p><strong>I apologize if you felt this chapter was too short. I tried to add more things without butting into the next chapter's plans. As you already know I have all 12 chapters planned. This one has slightly less to it, but the rest should be well at least double this count. The last three chapters definitely hold a lot more content. So don't worry about the chapters slowing down. I just cut this one oddly when preplanning. Other than this I hope you enjoyed the chapter!<strong>  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


	7. Exposure

_"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold."_

—Helen Keller

* * *

><p>Shima's laughter was quickly cut off when Rin flew at him with his sword at arm. Shima side stepped him and turned to face the half demon. He prepared for Rin's next move with his feet placed.<p>

"If you have things like that weighing down on you then tell somebody!" Rin jumped at him and their weapons clashed. "You don't have to be so fucking alone!" Shima whacked him back, "Aren't we friends?"

Shima sighed, "Really, Okumura-kun," he flicked his khakkara to rid it of dust, "When will you finally understand that we aren't friends." Shima smiled menacingly, "We never were." He went in to stab the demon, "Now quit the chitchat and kill or be killed!" He managed to nick Rin's side as he stumbled to flee from the pink haired teen.

Rin's own flames grew as did his anger and his attacks became serious as he sent one out one right after the other. Shima on the defense, deflecting them with slight ease as he was backing up from knockback.

When Shima felt he had let the other exult enough strength that he could get away with he sent Rin flying back with a powerful strike. The two both started in for another attack but one of them stumbles as they launched forward. Shima faltered and started to fall forward as Rin was beginning to swing at him. Thankfully, Yamantaka's flames covered Shima's exposed back and the demon began.

'_This has gone on long enough_.' The large bull glared down at Rin who in turn grew into a defensive stance. 'The halfling here is right.' Shima blinked in shock and also confusion, '_If you won't let someone help then I will_.'

"Wait—what does that," Shima paled. "Yamantaka I order you to fucking mind your own business!" He shouted, but it was too late. The demon looked into Rin's eyes and transmitted information from the beginning of Yamantaka's knowledge to now. All of it in a span of less than a second. The tole from so many thoughts flooding Rin's head caused him to grow much weaker.

Shima growled and shouted, "You fucking beast!" He then flew at Rin and stabbed his gut with black flames. It may not have hurt Izumo but she was human.

Rin screamed and went down. Shima stood over him and caught his breath before growling out. "No one can know... Sorry, '_friend_', but I can't let this information leak out..." He turned and glared at the demon but then quickly headed for the back exit of the building to escape being caught in his weakened state. He knew he had to find a nearby location or else he would pass out somewhere in the open. He couldn't afford that.

After stumbling for what seemed like an eternity, Shima managed to get to where he was looking for. An old, rickety shack stood with vines covering most of it. It was almost completely camouflaged. The teen stumbled into the shelter and slid down against the wall. His body was sore all over and he had cuts and bruises of all sorts. His breathing was labored as he finally was able to relax a bit with no danger sensed nearby.

Shima glared at the demon that was still with him.

–

After the Illuminati fall back, the exwires went in search for Rin and if they were lucky also Shima. The group split up their searching as no one had managed to keep track of where the two's fight had gone off to. Shima's father was directed back to medical care. He shouldn't have been allowed to fight with them to begin with, but after hearing about his son the chief wouldn't take no for an answer.

Bon walked through all sorts of rubble and hoped they wouldn't need to begin searching through the collapsed walls and cement. The chances of someone surviving under it—even if it's someone who is part demon—would be very slim to no chance at all.

He started shifting through smaller piles of rubble when he noticed there was a hole in the wall behind him. He stood and started for it. '_Geeze, where the hell_...' Bon thought to himself as he cautiously passed through it. He glance around before quickly seeing a body on the ground. He rushed over and noticed it was Rin before calling the others over. He wasn't sure if they could hear him, but his main focus wasn't on them but if Rin was OK. Shima wouldn't actually try to kill their friend would he?

'_No, Shima wouldn't do that_...' Bon assured himself. He knelt down and inspected the other. He felt for a pulse but it was very weak. '_Shit_...' Bon mentally cursed and grabbed his phone. He dialed Okumura-sensei's number and alerted him to get the others and come back to where he was. That he found Rin and that he needed medics here fast.

'_Shit, Shima, you might kill him! What are you thinking..._' Bon frowned as he tried to find where the injuries lied. Did Shima really full heartedly betray them? The teen recalled what he told Rin awhile back. If the time came and he had to kill Shima that he would also kill himself. He didn't want it to come to that, but at this rate he was beginning to think he needed to be prepared for that fate. Bon stepped back as medical attention arrived. He turned and looked at the others to be met with the same thoughts. That Shima may truly be the enemy for certain.

* * *

><p><strong> Ah I've had quite the busy day! Well, anyway here was chapter 7. I hope you enjoyed it!<strong>  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


	8. Disappear

_"I'm disappearing, avoiding most things."_

—Syd Barrett

* * *

><p>"<em>Rin?" A voice echoed.<em>

"_I think he's waking up." Another voice followed. Ugh, everything was murky, what happened? Rin's eyes twitched below his lids as he tried to push off the hazy feeling and figure out what was going on._

"_Ugh..." He groaned as he cringed when he tried to open his eyes. The room he was in was very bright._

"_Okumura?" He cracked an eye open and saw a blurred figure. Rin was back out before he could get his eyes to fully open._

The second time Rin had regain consciousness he was able to look around and sit up before anyone knew he was awake. No one was in the room and it was dimmer this time around. He couldn't tell if that was because he had adjusted to the light source already or if they had actually dimmed the lights. Hell, he didn't even know if it was day or night for that matter.

Rin started for the call button by the side of his bed to have a nurse come fill him in on what the hell had happened but before he could his door opened. "Oh." The voice spoke in a calmly noting tone, "You're awake..." Rin looked and met eyes with Bon.

"Suguro?" The other rubbed some sleep from his eye, "Ugh, what the hell happened?"

Bon stepped over and sighed while he pulled a chair over. "To be honest, I was hoping you would be able to tell me. If you remember," Bon rest his forearms against his lap, "You were last seen fighting Shima. I found you nearly dead and no Shima in sight. Do you remember anything?" He looked at Rin with worry.

The half demon sat back as he searched his brain for any jogging of his memory as to what went down. "Fight with Shima..." He concentrated before blinking, "Oh yeah!"

Bon sat up expectantly. "We were fighting and uh..." Rin paused, "We were fighting... I think he was kicking my ass? Hm..."

Bon sighed, "Do you remember anything else? From what I can tell that all was a given..."

"Uh...We were arguing I know. I think I was pestering him as to why—!" Rin's memory then swiftly came rushing back into his thoughts. "Shima's familiar..."

"Shima's familiar? What about it?" The taller frowned.

"I don't remember why or much about it, but..." Rin looked back at Bon, "We need to talk because that bull demon guy gave me a lot of information leading up to Shima joining the Illuminati." The other sat back with his mouth agape but braced himself for what he wasn't sure would be shared.

"OK, let's start from wherever the beginning is then." Rin nodded back and began.

–

"Shit!" Shima pounded his fist into the ground. "What the hell did I say?" He glared up at the demon. "I fucking told you to not butt in and then you..." He clenched his fists in his hair and growled, "I can't believe you told him _everything_! Do you know what you've just done?!"

'_I know exactly what I have done. You're not following logic anymore. You're not fooling me with your apathetic attitude. You have kept making mistake after mistake_.' The demon stared back at Shima.

"What happened to you staying out of my life? When did that become something you just can't understand?" Shima crinkled his brow, "Huh!?" He barked.

'_I heard you call for help. As of what I've seen these past years, I am not finished with my job you summoned me for. I have yet to see to it that you no longer require help._'

"I didn't ask for you to stick around! You did enough when you got rid of my brother! That was all I wanted!" Shima hissed.

'_If I hadn't been sticking around, you would have died in several instances_.'

"I never asked for you to help me with either of those times!"

'_I know_.' Shima glowered at the demon. Now it was the demon's turn to turn apathetic.

"I want you to leave and never come back," the teen demanded. "That's an order from summoner to familiar."

'_If that is what you want then so be it_.' The demon looked to a piece of paper on the floor by the rotting desk. '_This is the summoning sheet you used when you first summoned me_.' Shima reached over and picked up the paper. 'When you realize that you fucked up and need help you know how to get a hold of me.'

Shima scowled at the paper before ripping it apart. The demon for the first time in years fully disappeared. Shima felt a weight fall off his shoulders. He slouched back against the wall of the charred remains of his brother's workshop and closed his eyes.

He let out a shaky sigh before pulling out a piece of paper to begin a new summoning circle in case when his arms fell slack and the world started to spin and go black.

'_Fuck, not again_...' Shima's head hit the ground with a small thud.

* * *

><p><strong>So I recently figured out that like when Lucifer asked Shima what Rin's weaknesses were and Shima said it was his heart or we that Lucifer's probs totes gonna use Shima as Rin's weakness at some point. Y'know not in a shippy way or anything like a 'mess with me and ill hurt ya friend' sorta way. I mean that's what my best bet is. Anyway here is this chapter out! NOTE: THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL DEFINITELY BE SHORTER THAN USUAL. Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter!**  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


	9. Determination

_"Pursue one great decisive aim with force and determination."_

—Carl von Clausewitz

* * *

><p>"Are you fucking serious?" Rin nodded. "..." Rin sighed as he was able to read Bon's face like a book.<p>

"It's not your fault you know?" Rin jumped when Bon quickly glared at him.

"Of course it fucking is my fault!" He slammed his hand against the side table, "I've been his fucking friend this whole time! Do you realize how little I noticed? I didn't have the slightest clue any of this was happening!" He ran a hand through his hair. "Shit.

"I..." Bon gave a tired look, "I did...I knew something wasn't right. I say I was his friend but I didn't even care to ask." Bon quieted as he internally berated himself.

Rin sat back against his bed for a moment before speaking, "Yeah, you suck." Bon glowered over at him and Rin smiled back.

"Gee, thanks."

"Haha, but why are you so angsty?" Rin grinned, "We aren't much good right now, you know?"

The taller rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Who's fault is that? You're the one still in bed." He grinned, "Get your shoes on, we're going to go get Renzou back."

Rin beamed, "Yeah!" He started to stand when the door opened and the nurse stepped in.

"Oh, you're awake!" She then added, "Where do you think you're going?"

–

After an hour of processing and getting checked out, Bon and Rin were finally out the door and starting back to find leads as to where Shima could be. They figured he could be with the Illuminati, but they didn't even know where the terrorist group had moved since they ambushed them last.

"They'd probably leave town, head somewhere north maybe?"

"Yeah, uh...What's north of us?"

"Seriously?" Bon sighed, "You're hopeless."

"Nii-san?" The two paused and turned around. Yukio stood behind them with a confused look. With him was Koneko and the girls. "Where are you two going?"

Rin grinned while Bon looked sheepish. "We're going to go find Shima." The others frowned.

"You don't even know where he is," Koneko spoke up.

"Yeah, but we might as well start looking as soon as we can." Bon nodded along with the half demon, "Are you guys with us or are you gonna chicken out?"

The group exchanged torn glances but Shiemi nodded. "Then where should we start?" Bon and Rin smiled at her.

* * *

><p><strong> As i mentioned before this would be a short chapter. I apologize it's later than normal! I was sort of caught up in a few things. I might be late tomorrow as well since I have yet to go to bed. AKA I might fall asleep before I can write the next chapter out haha.. Either way, I hope you don't mind this short chapter but still possibly enjoyed it!<strong>  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


	10. Deja Vu

trigger warnings apply that have been previously mentioned in chapters before. continue with caution

* * *

><p><em>"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."<em>

—Steven Wright

* * *

><p>With a startling gasp, Shima jolted back to the conscious world. He darted his head around to identify his surroundings before sitting up and grabbing the unfinished contract. He began to scribble out the remaining parts of the circle when his phone began to beep. Shima sighed heavily, scribbled in the finishing touches on the paper and then sat it off to the side and reached into his pocket and fished out his phone. He clicked the receive button, "Yeah?"<p>

"Renzou Shima," the clipped voice of his director came through in a punctual tone. "It seems we have gotten separated after the ambush. Tell us your location and we will come get you. If you do not tell us then we will be forced to send in operatives to see to it that you do not decide to go wandering off on your way back. Are you able to walk?"

The pink haired teen took a moment to think his current state over. "I'll manage." He closed his phone and removed the bluetooth from his ear and tossed both to the other side of the room casually. He smiled weakly, "Heh, this looks like the end... No way I'm going back to be used like that again...

–

_Lucifer grinned at his half brother, Rin, "You honestly think you could take me on?"_

"_Shut up! You can barely even stand, let alone act like you're in control!" As he stepped forward, Shima stood in front of his captain._

"_I can't allow you to really take down the Illuminati's head commander, Okumura-kun."_

_His former allies glared harshly at him, but he heard Lucifer stand and he switched from an offensive stance to a normal stand. "Thank you, guard." The leader rest a hand on Shima's shoulder for balance, "but I don't think anyone will be fighting today." Lucifer grinned sheepishly, "Well, that is unless your information was wrong about this child's weaknesses." He placed a his own blade to Shima's throat with his eyes still on the enemies. "What will it be? Surrender to us or this guard you seem to still find your ally's life be cut short." Shima didn't externally show any signs of emotion, but internally he was not only shocked but panicked._

_He hadn't quite calculated this happening when he got moved to security. _'Heh, fuck...'

–

The teen clicked his tongue and reached over and grabbed a large piece of broken glass and made two cuts on either wrist before resting his head back against the wall. "Heh, this sucks..." He stared up at the dusty ceiling, "was sorta hoping I wouldn't be backed into another position like this..." He closed his eyes, "too bad..."

Blood slowly covered the floor, sopping everything around it. This included the finished summoning circle, which began to glow. The tingling pain in Shima's wrists began to subside and his various other wounds began to fade from any recognition. Shima cracked his eyes open and was met with an all too familiar face staring back at him. He snorted softly and closed his eyes once more, "Deja vu..."

'_You've fucked up_,' the demon stated.

"This time I am aware, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting in a puddle of my own blood."

'_For what purpose have you summoned me this time?_'

Shima gave him a softer gaze. "Help." The demon's eyes glimmered with amusement that he could not show.

'_Obviously_.' Shima's consciousness swam.

–

"Then let's go this way?" Rin pointed in a random direction. The others were behind him and giving him a skeptical look.

"Nii-san, a few moments ago you pointed that way," Yukio pointed to his right. "This is going to get us nothing but lost at this rate. We need to form a plan of some sort." As Yukio began to speak again, Bon interrupted him.

"That way." The others looked in the direction the taller teen was directing them at.

"Suguro?" Yukio raised an eyebrow, "Why do you think Shima would be that way?" Yukio looked in the direction then back at him, "That's the direction of Kyoto, isn't it?"

Bon shrugged and scratched the back of his head anxiously, "I don't know, I just feel like he's in trouble..." He looked at the others, "I mean, if he is in Kyoto there are only so many places he would be able to go to undetected...If you guys don't wanna go there, that's fine. We can try something else."

The others exchanged looks before nodding at Bon. "We have no other leads. If you feel he's there then we should give it a shot." Yukio then added, "Uh, why do you think he's in danger?"

Bon cast his gaze down, "Just...a familiar feeling I guess. Sort of a deja vu moment to be completely honest with you." He then blinked and looked at the teacher hurriedly, "I think I know where he is."

* * *

><p><strong>Hngg, that turned out much better than I had figured it would be before I wrote it. Anyway, I cut out a small scene that I decided to just move to chapter 11, so yeah. Luckily I got this chapter out with better timing than the last. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!<strong>  
><strong>Thank you!<strong>


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